In a world where disrespect is constant, kindness is looked at as weird, and disappointment ruins our dreams, we look toward the one we love to make the cruel, cold world warmer. But what happens when the one we love, is actually the one who creates the callous world we choose to live in? You never want to believe that someone you have allowed yourself to fall in love with, or someone who has professed his or her love for you, is actually the one hurting you, especially since they always seem to make it better. But what we really need to be aware of, is many of the things we tolerate in a relationship, is abuse.

We are all guilty of disrespecting our partners, I am the first one to admit it. I have absolutely said some of the most horrendous things to men who have tried to push me down; emotionally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, and physically. What I learned on this journey, is that most of my disrespect comes from reacting to being disrespected. But I am learning. Do not react, walk away. Walk away from a man who is intentionally trying to hurt you because that is not love, I don’t care what anyone says. And if you have uttered the words “But (s)he never actually hit me,” one day, he/she will.

If you have ever been threatened, coerced, intimidated, made to feel bad about yourself, isolated, minimized, denied, ignored, made to feel guilty about things you shouldn’t feel guilty about, being treated like a servant, held back economically, controlled, pushed, shoved, etc, more than once- you are in fact, in an abusive relationship. There are so many levels to so many different types of abuse, and because we are so used to seeing it, whether in our own families, on the street, on tv or any social media site, we have concluded this is normal: It’s not. It’s not normal, it is not ok, and this should not be happening. It’s almost scary to think about ourselves in such a way, embarrassing even.  I know it was for me. But the more awareness and education we have, the more we can keep ourselves in healthy situations: where we all deserve to be.