As all sites are now flooded with the awareness of mental illness, depression, and suicide because of Robin Williams, we should have been aware of this a long long time ago. We, as a society, have come a super long way, but not long enough it seems.Lucky for me, my empathy runs so deep, I am working on a second masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. This is hard for me to talk about, but maybe an eye opener for some, to maybe, just maybe- never tell someone “just get over it” ever again.

Mental Illness is not a choice. It’s a curse. A gift that keeps on giving. Whether brought on by trauma, chemical imbalances, hereditary luck, it is not a choice. No one wakes up and says “Hey, I think I’ll be depressed today.”

There is a big difference between clinical depression and being a little sad. Being sad here and there is normal. If people never feel sadness, that in itself, is a concern. Death, breakups, financial distress, a cloudy day, whatever, may make someone feel a little down in the dumps, but depression, depression can make even getting out of your bed and brushing your teeth the hardest task in the world. Do not judge. Do not turn around to someone and tell them to snap out of it, do not tell them it is all in their mind; it is, but they can’t help it.

Imagine a world where you can see no future. Imagine a hole you can not climb out of no matter how much strength you muster up. Imagine a boulder in your head instead of a healthy brain. No one chooses this. It is hard enough to see the light, let alone hearing people constantly ask you “What’s wrong with you?” Do you really think they don’t know something is wrong?

Now, I have never been clinically depressed. And I am thankful for that, but I have been diagnosed with PTSD; Post-traumatic stress disorder, for those who do not know, stemming from childhood trauma I am not going to speak about in this blog, and in addition, from being in a highly emotionally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, and in the end, physically abusive relationship for such a long time. As a teenager, I suffered from panic and anxiety attacks; those are very very different. I have sleep disturbances, nightmares and flashbacks, and for a long time, I would flashback while awake as well. There is nothing scarier than reliving the worst moments of your life over and over again, not because I sat down to think about them and did it to myself, but because I couldn’t help it. Lucky for me, my mind was strong enough, as a teen and an adult to get passed some of the harshest moments, alone. I found ways to ease my panic, to ease my anxiety, to get up and keep going after insomnia got the best of me. I was afraid to close my eyes because my eyelids were movie screens, replaying the same horror movie I lived through. Lucky for me, I am strong. Lucky for me, I was able to climb out of whatever depression did have a hold on me. Lucky for me, I have control over my own diagnoses, because I am finally aware of it. Now, I am not writing this for any sort of sympathy; I do not need it because, believe me, I am not a victim. I am writing this for awareness- so that some of my closest may start to understand, mental illness is not a choice. It is something that is severely serious. Something we must be aware of. Something we have to stop judging.

I am doing my part, eventually, when licensed, to help the world suffering from mental illness. I know that this is not what defines a person, but is a daily struggle for more than half of the population. Just because you do not suffer from an illness, whether it is physical or mental, does not give you the right to put down someone who is. Would you tell a paralyzed person in a wheelchair he/she is lazy, and that’s why they are not walking? No. You wouldn’t. The mind becomes paralyzed as well. Instead of turning your noses up, read an article or two. Learn something. Be aware of the signs. You might save someone’s life one day.

I hope this shed some light. I hope this has made a difference to some of you who are unaware of the struggle. Or maybe, it made you aware, that some of your own are struggling. Even the strongest person in the world can be put down by mental illness. Help them instead of putting them down for it. No one chooses a psychologically debilitating life. Everyone wants to be happy.