“The minute you stop trying to impress people is the minute you gain your freedom.”

I read that quote this morning- some instagram meme, but boy did it resonate. In a way, this is how I try to live, not for anyone else, but for myself. For a really long time, I tried to stay true to the rigidity of the expectations placed on me, and boy, was I miserable. I was always a little outside the box, and those who truly knew me, those who I allowed to see me because I had complete trust in not judging me for my ridiculous notions about life, understood. But for those who never stepped outside of their own box, those who didn’t get it, those who would never really know me- they just rolled their eyes and told me to stop being stupid.

Well, what’s stupid, to me, is not living life the way you want. What’s stupid is thinking about everyone else’s opinion instead of your own happiness. What’s stupid, to me, is living in a construct of your own rigidity because your upbringing told you “this is who you should be.”

Thank you, but no thank you.

This summer was truly the summer where I told multiple people: I do not care what you think. I can’t begin to explain to you how many judgmental looks and beginnings of lectures I received- and stopped in its tracks. This summer was truly the summer where I told multiple people: You do not have to agree or like or even accept, but I do not care what you think. It’s really liberating. Because I truly mean it. This summer was the summer where people who haven’t seen me in a long time, looked at me and said “Wow- you look great!” And in reality, I don’t- I’m at my heaviest, and I haven’t really put much effort into anything but my happiness. That is what makes me look great.

I. Am. Happy.

I do what makes me happy. I live and breathe all the things that make me happy. I do not try to explain, I do not try to impress, I do not try to gain validation or acceptance because I do not need it. I make me happy. I love me. I accept me. I validate me. Is it nice to hear, once in a while, from people you care about? Sure. But I have deemed myself the most important in my life- this is the difference and change that everyone has seen. Some like, some don’t, but I do not care what you think.

Just be. Just live. Just enjoy every single moment the way you want. We aren’t promised them, and I would rather live knowing I am truly a product of myself. It’s quite amazing.