I woke up in a pretty bitter mood today, or maybe I was just hungry- anyone who knows me knows my hanger is the real deal, but whatever the case may be, I was thinking of a few things that really just annoy me. Yes, I joke about dating. Yes, I joke about idiot men and their idiot ways. Yes, I tend to keep the hope and faith that perhaps I will, one day, find my knight in tattered armor, just like mine, after a lifetime in battle, ready to just live in peace and harmony and make out all day, every day. Unfortunately, I have had no such luck. And I don’t quite get it.

After a conversation with some friends, I released some of my thoughts, that did make me sound like a bitter divorcee who has given far too many people far too many chances, but on the real, what the hell does a girl gotta do to find a decent dude? Men always talk about finding women who have it together, who don’t need to be saved, who have something to offer- but that is, by no means, what they want. Yes, some things are not meant to be, and that’s all fine and dandy, but what the fuckin fuck? Men want needy. They need needy. They want to feel like a woman needs them. And I swear- if one more dude tells me I am awesome and amazing and so inspiring and a woman to love and the woman they’ve been dreaming of, but walks away, he is getting kicked in the balls. I feel sorry for you, sir- because I-AM-TIRED. I am tired of being passed up because you don’t feel like you are good enough for me.

It is one thing to not be attracted to me. It is one thing to not have the necessary chemistry. It is one thing to not see a future with me. But it is a whole other thing to cowardly walk away from a woman because you can’t step up to your own plate and allow yourself to grow and be better. I treat men, all men, whether they serve food, pick up trash, or cure cancer, with the same respect. And I expect it back.

(And for the record, I don’t usually sound like this. I am not usually angry. I am not usually cold and mean and I definitely never make someone feel like they are not good enough. I am fun and kind. I treat the people I am with with loyalty, respect, and consideration- maybe that’s my problem.)

I’m not trying to bash on women who are needy and insecure- in fact, I’d like to help them see their worth and see their beauty. We are all amazing in our own way. I am also not bashing on women who see dollar signs- by all means, get yours girls. Men use women for sex- why shouldn’t women use men for money, right? What I am doing is questioning half the male species, who always complain about not finding well put together women who have the world to offer. I have been passed up, overseen, and tossed to the side for the type of women these men complain about. Stop complaining about them if that’s what you fucking want. Stop pretending. Just stop.

Yes- I sound bitter- because today, I am. And I got a “You can’t give up, Leni! You’re my hope!” But today- I don’t want hope. I don’t want a man who leaves and comes back. I don’t want a man who pretends to want a woman like me, only to find his own insecurities by himself and run away. I don’t want anything or anyone. Today, I want to sit in my anger and hate the world. And that’s exactly what I am going to do. Today. Because I don’t quite fucking get it.

:: Rant Over :: Where’s the damn popcorn.