Relationships nowadays. They’re exhausting. You’re always wondering how many people the person you’re talking to is talking to. You’re always wondering how many messaging apps they have hidden on their phones. How many pictures of other women do they like or comment on? How many direct messages do they send or get or answer? It’s really very exhausting, mainly because no one seems to prove loyal any longer. Why? Too many options, I suppose.

Friends with Benefits- we’re all mostly adults here, right? Well, it’s fun. And sometimes necessary to maintain your sanity and health. At least I think so. It can work for two people who do not want a relationship. It can work for two busy people who aren’t looking for anything more than a quick sexual interaction on a regular basis. It can work, but not for too long. As someone who was so extremely busy, working full time, interning, going to school, trying to maintain any sort of life, I can tell you, it could work. It works when that is, truly, all you want. When you know you don’t have time to give someone in order to build something larger, it works. But it doesn’t work the minute one or the other wants more. Not necessarily with each other, but more. I’ve had so many conversations with people about their lives, their wants, their desires, their needs. I’ve learned so much about different relationships, other than my own, of course, but one thing seems to stand true. You can’t carry on one sexual relationship when you are trying to build another.

When you know you have something to come home to, you won’t try. When you know there is someone who can relieve any sexual frustration, with no strings attached, you won’t try. When you know someone is a text away, you won’t try. When you know you don’t have to try, you won’t try. And if you won’t try for someone, no one will try for you.

So, in order to start something new, you have to let go of everything. You can’t start something new when you are holding on to something old, when you have a backup plan, when you are already lying about being unattached, because in a way, having sex with one person, while dating another, isn’t unattached. That way, you don’t have to give someone the reason to doubt you, to wonder about your loyalty, to be afraid to be loyal to you.

Most people are afraid to be loyal and be made to look like a fool. I’d rather look like a fool if it means I am getting closer to the man who is meant for me; the loyal one who isn’t afraid to build with his queen.