On the journey to self-love, self-awareness, self-enlightenment, self-liberty, self-reliance, self-acceptance, self-rule, and self-expression, I had to figure out the type of woman I am, the type of woman I’m not, and the type of woman I want to be. Here is what I came up with:

I am not the type of woman who will ever be thin. I am not the type of woman who will contour her face, get a winged eyeliner perfect, wear heels on a daily basis, will get up at 5 in the morning to go to the gym, make breakfast, or judge women who do if that is truly what makes them happy.

I am not the type of woman who will be romantic when you expect it. I am not the type of woman whose home will be spotless and neat. I am not the type of woman who will need you.

I am not the type of woman who you’ll find socializing all the time, acting prim and proper, listening to audiobooks, making herself available for people who don’t deserve her time, or being healthy every minute of every day.

I am not the type of woman who will stay in a situation that is miserable. Not anymore. I am not the type of woman who will feed people’s egos, compliment you in the ways you expect, or be everything you want because society told you this is how a woman should be. I am not the type of woman to change for you. I am the type to learn and grow and be better than I was yesterday, though.

I am the type of woman who will make anyone who enters my home feel like it’s theirs. I am the type of woman who cares about others, who will help others, teach others, listen to others, learn from others. I am the type of woman who will push herself to be better, who will use minimal makeup every day just because, try to wing her eyeliner and get frustrated when she can’t, get annoyed when I do have to wear heels, put training before hanging out, make breakfast for dinner, and help women feel empowered, beautiful, intelligent, and strong in their weakest moments. I am the type of woman who will write you a note on a napkin and slip it in your pocket, so when your hands are cold and you hide them from the world, you come out with something warm, and let you know that even though I don’t need you in my life, I want you there.

I am and want to be the woman who accepts herself, who loves herself, who rules herself. I am and want to be the woman who understands, accepts, and loves others. I want to love unconditionally. I want to be imperfectly perfect- not by the world’s standards, but by my own. I want to be the woman who is willing. I want to be the woman who makes you feel stronger. I want to be the woman who wants to make you want to be better. But to be that woman, I have to find people who make me want to be better. I want to be the woman who isn’t afraid to express herself, who isn’t ashamed of her story, who helps the world with her words, her actions, her love. I want to be the woman who inspires, who frees, who makes you feel like there is still good in the world. I want to be the woman who liberates your fears and helps you face them, who shows you that expression is ok, who allows you to be vulnerable, who helps you grow into the person who will do this for others. I want to be the woman who can be loved, who is loved, who will be loved by those who she has taught to love themselves because she sees and knows their light.

I want to be the woman who brings you peace. In her comfy boots, with her tinted moisturizer, long eyelashes, and stretchy jeans.

I want to be the woman who will stay true to herself. You will understand why people do what they do but not necessarily tolerate it. I want to be strong and vulnerable. I want to be me. The best me. Happy.