There are many things I wonder about; many things I sit and think about over a cup of coffee, staring at the ceiling, watching a ceiling fan go round. One of the many things that circle my mind is second chances. Are they worth it? Do people deserve it? Do people even change? The only thing I can come up with is: it depends.

I was watching The Contender series earlier today, week 1, and there he is, Greg Hardy, a former NFL athlete who lost everything because of a domestic violence case. I read one article and immediately, I was angered. As a woman who has been hurt by the hands of a man, I am angered. Why? Why bring ugly souls into the sport I love so much, and then, it dawned on me. This sport, MMA, it brings you closer to who you are supposed to be. I haven’t trained in months for various reasons, but it sure as hell saved my life. So I asked myself: will I support fighters with ugly pasts? And the answer is: it depends.

I sat in my feelings for a bit remembering the time or times someone’s hands were on me to hurt me, and for so many years I have said, even he deserves happiness, despite how horrible he was to me; even he deserves happiness. We all do.

I believe, with the right environment, with the right people, with the right tools, with the right mindset, with the right opportunity, people can change, but they have to want it. It’s a struggle, I know this from experience, from my own journey and path, from the years it took for me to heal, but if I can look at a complete stranger and watch his ability in a sport despite his past, hoping and praying that all men and women who have harmed another can grow into better people, I know I have healed and I have grown. For that, I am proud. I aspire to grow daily.

I hope I can provide the same support for the people in my life. None of us are free from sin or free from harming others, but if I can help people with forgiveness, mainly forgiving themselves for the harm they have caused, maybe I can help make this world a kinder place.

I forgive you for hurting me.

I forgive myself for allowing it.

I forgive us for living in our ugly.

I love myself enough to grow.

I love myself enough to change.

I love myself enough to be exactly who I am, in this moment, and who I am destined to be.