8/21/2019 Dear Baby, You’re not here yet. You don’t even exist. All you are, right now, is a bunch of unanswered prayers and unsuccessful science experiments. But one day, you will be, and for that, mommy did something big for you today. She bought you a house. It’s not much, it’s not big, but you’ll […]
Educational Infertility: Realizing you’re not pregnant and getting observed all in the same moment. How fucking wonderful. I felt the tickle of liquid slide down inside of me- and I knew; another attempt failed. The day was going well, actually. I woke up in a pleasant mood, I didn’t allow the traffic to deter my […]
There are many things I wonder about; many things I sit and think about over a cup of coffee, staring at the ceiling, watching a ceiling fan go round. One of the many things that circle my mind is second chances. Are they worth it? Do people deserve it? Do people even change? The only […]
Nobody is perfect. Especially not me. But one thing I pride myself on is not hurting people; not on purpose, at least. More than half the world takes for granted, the damage they cause, to people who have nothing to do with their issues. I’d like to think I am evolved from such pettiness, but […]
Sometimes, the easiest thing for me to do is write. Not lately. As much as I am open in describing my efforts, my struggles, my 33 year young wisdom, I am also reluctant because there are so many people who will misread, misinterpret, and use my vulnerabilities against me. It is what it is. I’ve been […]
Unpainted? Tainted. Pretty white wall, stained with life- empty and white. Aren’t you lonely there all by yourself? how do you feel when I pound you? I never cared to ask. What’s it like to be crucified and hung? how does it feel to be covered and never acknowledged? Sticky wallpaper all over your face. […]
So many people are afraid of the word therapy. They are afraid of the stigma it brings, afraid that there is something wrong with them, afraid of change, bettering themselves, afraid of asking for help…. Well, I’m in therapy. Better yet, I have been for the past few years. And there is nothing wrong with […]
On the journey to self-love, self-awareness, self-enlightenment, self-liberty, self-reliance, self-acceptance, self-rule, and self-expression, I had to figure out the type of woman I am, the type of woman I’m not, and the type of woman I want to be. Here is what I came up with: I am not the type of woman who will ever […]
Relationships nowadays. They’re exhausting. You’re always wondering how many people the person you’re talking to is talking to. You’re always wondering how many messaging apps they have hidden on their phones. How many pictures of other women do they like or comment on? How many direct messages do they send or get or answer? It’s really […]
stained. Burning my skin with the touch of your hand over my shirt I feel it going through branding your hand print on my back and it hurts. It hurts and I just cant stand it. Nausea takes over and I breathe myself in, in through nose, out through mouth- a couple seconds and it […]
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